i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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