Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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