Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You can't special order awesome
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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