I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
