did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
