I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
