we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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