So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Randomize
