Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
