Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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