Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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