I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
