grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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