Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize