there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
