i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
