Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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