so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize