is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
