i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
