It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
