just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
