White coat. Heels.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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