Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
