Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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