this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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