I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
