Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
