this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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