you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
