I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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