Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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