You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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