Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize