She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
