any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
