i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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