OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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