i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
