Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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