if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize