but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
