you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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