im six kinds of drunk right now
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
