She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
