It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
