maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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