So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
