rhymes with "ouble enetration"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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