Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize