There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
