Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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