i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
