so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
