Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
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So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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