I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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