he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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